Holiday Post 2016: Gifts, strange things, and other shopping

I continue with  my series of holiday posts for 2016. Yesterday, I looked at "Traditions, Manners, and  other Miscellany." Today I get to look at some of the crazy things people give each other for holiday gifts and a few other strange things. I am always amused by some of the things suggested out there for gifts, so let's have a look. As usual, the snarky commentary is mine.

Gifts and presents

Where we see what crazy and curious stuff people think you ought to get for the holidays.

• Looking for something a bit quirky or different? Boing Boing has a gift guide out for 2016. If you know someone who can afford to gift a $1775 fountain pen, please let me know. I certainly do not. And if you have $80K, you can buy that war buff in your life a Vietnam War era helicopter.
• Lifehacker has a list of ideas for "people who have everything." The ideas are nice, now the form said ideas take maybe not so much.  A beginner's soldering kit? Really?
• Want more ridiculous stuff? Here is your "2016 Hater's Guide to the Williams-Sonoma Catalog." The story may come from Adequate Man blog, but the stuff in that catalog can certainly make any  guy feel inadequate if you are not already secure in yourself. Because no house is complete without an antler entertaining collection and an $800 fake Christmas tree; I shit you not.
• The Atlantic also has a list, which seems a bit more for the hipsters and other stereotypes, but hey, at least they break it down by budgets. Seriously, who the heck are some of these people?
• Foodiggity has their gift guide for 2016. Come on, you know you want a  dinosaur bottle opener.
• Do you have a drinking man in your life with seriously expensive tastes? The Man Crates blog has you covered with  things like a $40K Pedal Pub (because not only do you get a mobile bar, but you get your bar patrons to pedal it for mobility so you can say they get exercise) and packages of Scotch or Bourbon infused toothpicks (because common toothpicks are for plebeians). On a serious note, the book listed, Contraband Cocktails, is one that I actually read and is pretty good. I will have my review on that posted here soon.
• For the women in your life, Mental Floss has a list too. So she can keep company with  the drinking man above, you can get her the $30 growler featured on this list.
• Mental Floss has a list for the explorer (i.e. people who like being outdoors) in your life. Keep in mind  that explorers do not rough it anymore, which is why the list has things like a wireless waterproof portable speaker among other things. 
• Want more for the explorer in your life? National Geographic has a gift list for map lovers and travelers. Some interesting things, though I am not sure I need or want a map tee shirt. Your mileage may vary.
• Tea seems to be a popular and relatively safe gift. So is coffee. Naturally, you have to have the necessary accoutrements for it, and here is a list of a few ideas for both coffee and teat drinkers via Mental Floss.I guess if you want to turbocharge their tea, you can get them a kombucha brewing kit. 
• Hosting a gathering or headed to one? Perhaps you'd like to bring in or gift a new board game to someone. The Morning News has some suggestions. I like board games because they bring back memories of simpler times. And as the article suggests, they may be a great solution to get people to interact without ruining the gathering with political talk. Board games "give you a framework in which to interact with others, but where the discussion revolves mostly around how you should maybe put your phone away for one goddamned second and pay attention when it’s not your turn, Uncle Chet." Personally, I would be delighted if someone gave me the Cat-o-poly board game as a gift (it's Monopoly, with cats, which would likely also make the Better Half very happy). Story about Cat-o-poly via Incredible Things.
• Apparently some companies hand out gifts to their employees. I am not sure which companies are these, but if you happen to be boss at one and need some ideas on what to give the little people, here are some foodie ideas for gifts to give your employees. Story via Inc. Because there is no better way to tell your corporate drone you appreciate them than a $70 package of Omaha steaks or a bottle of honey for $112. 
• Speaking of food gift ideas, if you have a bit of skill in the kitchen, maybe some homemade food gifts are a good idea for giving. Via Mental Floss.
• Here is the Christmas stocking I am sure a few people want hanging in their homes. It's a stocking you can fill up with your favorite adult beverage. Because once Uncle Jim Bob starts yapping about Trump, you will want this handy, filled, and ready to go. Story via Incredible Things.
• Heck, even the U.S. federal government has a holiday gift catalog. Read about it and find a link to it at Government Book Talk blog.
• For folks who are pagan, or witches, or witchy in some way, here are some DIY ideas for your witchy friends. Some these things are nice enough I do not think you have to be witchy to enjoy. Via Recreational Witch.
• Also for your pagan, witch, and other assorted friends who practice magic somehow and/or sling cards (as in divination cards), here are some gift ideas via Little Red Tarot. There are a few things for your queer pagan/witch/other too.

A few things that may be a little NSFW

The next few items may be erotica or they may just be a bit not so safe for work, so tread carefully if you are sensitive (or at work).

• Adult coloring books seem the be the craze, and naturally this now includes a few that are very adult. Pornhub, the porn website, has its own erotic coloring book (though sadly it was sold out when I checked for this post). Story on the book via Elite Daily, which also has links to stories on other adult books.
• It would be nice if someone gifted me a pack of these pocket notebooks for the holidays. Via Incredible Things. They are available on Amazon. 
• Want to gift something really different? How about this ballsy door knocker? Via Dangerous Minds.
• Going a little blasphemous  maybe? How about the Santa versus Jesus game? Story via BBC. Hat tip to Christian Nightmares.

Wrapping up the presents

•  You could use some Krampus wrapping paper. Story via Dangerous Minds.
• Having trouble wrapping up gifts, specially the big ones? Here is a nice British lady to show you how in a five minute video tutorial. Via  PopSugar.

And if you got a crappy gift. . . 

• Turns out some Burger King locations will trade it for a Whopper. Via Retail Hell Underground.

And finally, a little humor. Make sure your house is secure against fire. Do not leave candles unattended, and for the love of cripe, lock the door when you go out, or you may find yourself singing this: