Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Holiday Post 2009, where we look at what the hell happened last year

I decided to do a special post on summaries of what the hell happened in 2009. This is basically a look at the previous year via posts and links I have found around the Internet. No, this is not about the usual news. You can head over to CNN or other news site to get that. This is more along the lines of quirky, odd, and curious, well, to me anyways.

Let's start with some quizzes to see how well you remember 2009:

  • Esquire has a "Top News Stories of 2009" quiz. For example, do you recall what was the first bill President Obama signed into law? Or who inspired what became known as tea parties? It may not be who you think it is.
  • Of course, the big news at the end of the year was the Tiger Woods mistress list. I can try not to bring it up, but I have to at least mention it. Not because I personally give a shit. I will say it: whatever happens between two married people and the other person (because yes, women can and do cheat too, and the other person can be a man) it's their business. Let them sort it out and stay out of it. Sadly, this has become the fodder of late night hosts, the news, and jokes. But how many mistresses did the guy have? Do you remember? Esquire challenges how well have you kept up with the Tiger Woods story with a "Tiger Woods Mistress" quiz. Try it out. See how you do.
  • However, Tiger was not the only one who got embroiled with a woman not his wife or significant other. How many of you remember David Letterman's recent confessions, for instance? The Daily Beast has put together a quiz to help you out: the "Sexiest Mistresses of 2009." Can you match the guy in question with their mistress?

Now, let's look at more news and events from 2009. A lot happened this year. A good amount of it may be stuff we wish we could forget, but no amount of bleach will clean our memories. But there were a couple of nice things too. So let us go back in memory lane, laugh now and then, and be amazed (or not) at the amounts of stupidity people exhibited in 2009.

  • Let's start with movies. 2009 had a lot of crappy movies. The A.V. Club has compiled a list of "The 19-plus worst films of 2009." If no one will say it, I will. Some of this stuff was just plain shit, and the people involved in making should be embarrassed.
  • TV Squad has the obligatory list of celebrities who died in 2009. And no, it was not just Michael Jackson.
  • Now, as I mentioned, you can get the news summary of the year at places like CNN, Fox, or any other news source. However, those news sources probably won't give you much local coverage. Local news are not exactly great, but they can often be a great source of amusement. This is usually due to the ridiculous things they choose to cover. From Buzz Feed, here are "The 15 Funniest Local News Reports of 2009." This is the kind of hard-hitting, solid, local reporting that gives local reporting its (not so good) reputation.
  • Now, let's not just gang up on local news, bad as they can be. Any news organization can have a bad or slow news day. Just check out "The 50 Funniest Headlines of 2009." This will have you wondering if anyone does any editing or proofreading anymore in news organizations before they publish the news. Found via BuzzFeed.
  • There was greed as well, and we are not just talking Bernie Madoff. Reader's Digest features "Top 7 Tales of Greed and Abuse in 2009." From legislators doing the usual piling of pork in their legislation to outrageous tales of customer service (or lack thereof), you will find it here.
  • Stupidity abounds folks, and I personally find it very amusing. When big corporations do stupid things, I find it funny. When they do things like this, I have to wonder who the hell does the hiring for them. Here are the "10 Worst Marketing Blunders of 2009" presented by the blog Collateral Damage. We even had bankers blaming Jesus for their woes. Found via AdFreak.
  • And speaking of stupidity, criminals and scofflaws are known for stupidity. When they get caught, they get booked by the cops, and this includes getting a mug shot. For your amusement and horror, here are "The 30 Most Memorable Mug Shots of 2009," a veritable rogues' gallery of the famous and not so famous. Via BuzzFeed.
  • And then there are people that folks just had to hate. Asylum ran a little poll asking "Whom Can We All Agree to Hate from 2009?" I am sure you will remember these folks. As of this writing, you can still go vote.
  • Apparently people bitched and moaned about a lot of things in 2009. There were a lot of protests for various causes, some more worthy than others. Unfortunately for them, a lot of them leave a lot to be desired when it comes to their spelling and literacy skills. Fortunately for us, people were around those protesters and took photos. BuzzFeed has collected "The Best 50 Protest Signs of 2009."
  • In addition, a lot of people saw Jesus in 2009. They did not see him in person, but they saw him in candy, boulders, irons, and other places that are better left unsaid. BuzzFeed gives us a list of "Jesus Sightings in Review, 2009."
  • Apparently a lot of guys did what guys do, and that is ogle attractive women. COED Magazine has compiled a list of "The 20 Most Ogled Women of Playboy 2009." I am assuming they went by web hits or something like that (the methodology is not included). For the squeamish, yes, there is some skin, but no naughty parts (those got covered).
  • And if after all that, you did not get enough, Asylum has put together their list of "The 100 Weirdest News Stories They Dugg in 2009." There is quite a bit here for everyone.
Last minute addition: The Texas Freedom Network has compiled "The Year in Quotes: Science" with a list of the stupid and ignorant sayings of politicians and the State Board of Education during this past year. This is basically a collection of asshat examples from evolution deniers and other willful ignoramuses who would rather keep kids dumb than actually teach them science. They are an embarrassment to the state. Maybe 2010 will mean some of those clowns would be voted out, but I am not holding my breath.

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