Friday, May 07, 2010

Signs food places are trying to kill you

From the blog that brings you the semi-regular (as in when I have time to do it) feature "Signs that the economy is bad," here comes a new list: "Signs that food places are trying to kill you." You would think that it would be in the best interest of food establishments to keep you alive (so you can come back and eat more). But based on these stories, I highly doubt keeping you alive is a consideration. So, in the interest of providing a public service, The Itinerant Librarian has wandered around the web looking for those oh so subtle signs that food places are trying to kill you. See below:

  • Generous use of gravy. Hardee's has just released, for a limited time, a new 1,000 calorie breakfast. The Hardee's representative proudly says it is slated to be a hit. After all, "add gravy and they will come." Unfortunately, it does not include bacon, but don't worry. The nice Hardee's spokesperson says that "our operations crews are always happy to accommodate special orders. Tell them to throw some bacon on it and I'm sure they'd oblige."
  • Take out the bread. Bun? Who the hell needs a bun on a "sandwich"? By now, my two readers are fully aware of the monstrosity KFC recently unleashed upon the world: the KFC double down sandwich. This "delight" will kill you by "encasing bacon, cheese, and 'Colonel's sauce' between two slabs of deep-fried poultry."
  • Add some cheesecake. You need some dessert? That breakfast pancake just not doing it for you? IHOP has you covered with their new pancake stackers. This treat is a "slab of cheesecake that's sandwiched between two pancakes. And then smothered with fruit compote and 'creamy whipped topping. . . .'"Because you can never have enough carbs, and you do need to get your daily serving of fruit in there. Photo of the item in question here.
  • Make it look exotic. By themselves, peeps are pretty plain, but turn them into sushi, and you got something worth clogging your arteries for.

1 comment:

Edi said...

I guess they keep selling it because we keep buying it. Most people step away when they become aware that they're eating heart attacks and diabetes, but too many just don't care.