This is a somewhat random selection of the movies and series on DVD and/or online I watched during March 2022.
Movies and films (links to IMDB.com for basic information unless noted otherwise). Some of these I watched via TubiTv.com or other online source. The DVDs come from the public library (unless noted otherwise). In addition, I will try to add other trivia notes, such as when a film is based on a book adding the information about the book (at least the WorldCat record if available).
I managed to watch 17 films this month, which is a pretty good number for me in any month. A couple of these were series where I watched an original and its sequels. I could have watched a bit more, but after the first American Ninja film (see below), I could not commit to the sequels. Still, pretty good overall.
- The Adventures of Hercules (1985. Fantasy. Adventure). I did not recall that there was a sequel to the 1983 Hercules film with Lou Ferrigno (I watched that one back in February of 2019), but yes, Golan-Globus made it, and I am watching it this month. Once I started watching it, I did recall having seen it in younger days. The plot this time: "Hercules searches for the Seven Thunderbolts of Zeus, which have been stolen by renegade gods." To make matters more difficult for Hercules, the renegade gods bring King Minos, Hercules's nemesis in the previous film back to life, and Minos wants his revenge. Helping Minos as before is Dedalos; they both rely on their science, as opposed to the magic of the time, to try to do their plans despite the gods and Hercules. By the way, that almost 8 minutes opening credits sequence was a bit too long detailing the creation of the universe and highlights from the previous film, but the music was nice. As for the movie, is it cheesy? Yes. Are the special effects, well, a bit old fashioned? Sure. Is the plot a bit silly and plays loose with mythology? You betcha, but all that is why you watch a film like this. The film, like the previous one, does harken a bit to some of the older fantasy adventures of Hercules or Sinbad (though I admit those had better plots). The film is a bit slower than the first, not as much action, and some of the plot elements are a bit more complicated than they need to be. Still, it is a nice basic adventure and quest story. The end show down between hero and villain does get a bit amusing but still fun overall. This is as campy as it can get, yet it has some charm to it. I am willing to give this a 2.5 out of 5 stars as I liked it. Via TubiTv. Watched 3/1.
- Shark Week (2012. Horror. Action. Adventure). Plot description: "After the untimely death of his son, the affluent sadist, Tiburon, abducts eight seemingly unrelated perfect strangers. Intent on feeding them to his favourite pet-sharks, Tiburon has devised a series of devilishly cruel and increasingly challenging tests for his prisoners to endure, knowing that there's no escape from his secluded island compound." You know right off this will be as cheesy as it gets when the antagonist's name is Tiburon. Film is a variant on the horror theme of people kidnapped and subjected to tortures and/or obstacles they need to escape to survive (think films like the Saw series except nowhere near as good as that series), but with sharks. Pretty much the best known actor in the lot is Yancy Butler, who you may remember from the Witchblade television series. As the case in this kind of film, the strangers do have a connection. By the way, in the film, they make the sharks growl, I guess to increase the horror element, but keep in mind real sharks are unable to make any noise. They certainly do not growl. It just makes the movie seem more tacky. Overall, a pretty slow movie with minimal scares. The movie mostly drags, despite what could have been a semi-decent premise is just executed poorly. The acting is not that great either. The traps are not that ingenious, and at times one wonders what if they decided to do something different. There was no sense of jeopardy as there may be in one of these torture horror films. 1 out of 5 stars, and barely. Via TubiTv. Watched 3/1.
- The Last Days on Mars (2013. Horror. Science Fiction. Adventure). Plot description: "A group of astronaut explorers succumb one by one to a mysterious and terrifying force while collecting specimens on Mars." The mission on Mars is on the last day or so of a six month mission to the red planet; they are wrapping up and getting ready to leave to return to Earth. A storm hits, gets some things shaky, but they are mostly OK. Then the one guy decides he needs to go back to some probing/dig site at the last minute despite it not being a great idea. And we know what happens when someone does something that is not a great idea in these movies. Soon, the one guy gets lost, falls in a hole. After the others attempt to find him, he reappears on the base as a monster (exposed to the mystery bacteria he had discovered at the last minute), and soon hell breaks loose. Once things do go to hell, the movie goes into the infection killing them one at a time, and will someone make out in time to be rescued? Movie has some jump scares, but it is not that horrifying. It is a bit more of tension with some suspense, and a pretty tragic somewhat open ending. This is basically a zombie movie on Mars, but it is not really that good. Good premise, but execution was just OK. There is nothing really to make this movie memorable or distinguishable from other films in the genre. I am willing to give it 2 out of 5 stars as it is just OK. Via TubiTv. Watched 3/2.
- Lake Placid (1999. Horror. Action. Comedy). TubiTv brought in the first four films of the series (there are two additional ones after the "final chapter"), so I decided to take a chance. Plot description: "Three people attempt to stop a gigantic crocodile, who is terrorizing residents in Black Lake, Maine." Movie does have a decent cast including Bridget Fonda and Bill Pullman, and we even get Betty White (always a good reason to watch something) and Mariska Hargitay (you may know her better from Law and Order: SVU). For starters, the opening music is pretty good. On a trivia note, David E. Kelley wrote the film (yes, the guy who has also written things you may know like L.A. Law, Picket Fences, and a whole bunch of other television shows). Fonda's character is a very reluctant and somewhat snobbish NYC museum paleontologist who works with fossils and gets sent up to Maine to investigate the tooth of a mystery beast that killed a Maine Fish and Wildlife diver in the lake. Being fussy and persnickety is pretty much how we know she is a city girl who does not "do" field work. Pullman plays the Fish and Wildlife agent assisting the local sheriff, and naturally he is now stuck with the New Yorker. And boy does Fonda play the obnoxious clueless about nature city girl to the hilt. However, Kelly (Fonda) is the least of the problem as other eccentric characters start arriving as they hear of the beast, including Mr. Cyr, a wealthy mythology buff who also is fascinated by crocodiles. Cyr is also seriously without tact, but he is knowledgeable to an extent. The movie builds up slowly, then we get some jump scares here and there. The group debates at one point whether to kill what is an old crocodile that has lived a long life or not. The movie is not really horror. It is more a bit of monster thriller with some action. The comedy is mostly around the characters and their differences, and it is light. Overall, not a big deal. Very light film with a bit of entertainment, and some light humor at the end that leaves an opening for a sequel. Worth a watch on a slow night. By the way, the movie is about an hour and 20 minutes, so it is quick entertainment too. I'd say 3 out 5 stars. Watched 3/4
- Lake Placid 2 (2007. Horror. Action. Comedy). Plot description: "Man-eating crocodiles return to the lake, as two males and one aggressive female crocodile protecting their nest, wreak havoc on the locals." And a few years later, we are back with the sequel. This time, John Schneider (known from The Dukes of Hazard series) plays the local sheriff and Sarah LaFleur plays the wildlife agent Emily. After an EPA agent disappears, OK, gets eaten, they get to start the investigation. The film's events are just a couple of years after the first film, yet for some reason most of the town has sort of "forgotten" about the big crocodile from some time back (kind of not a good comment on the typical American short attention span). Betty White's character is gone, disappeared it seems, and her sister Sadie, played by Cloris Leachman, has moved into the old home by the lake. We basically start this direct to video feature with another collection of stereotypical characters. The sheriff this time is a divorced guy, and he is stuck with his son for the summer, a teen boy who is your typical brat and annoyed there is no cable or high speed internet in the backwoods where dad lives. Emily apparently knows Riley, the sheriff, and they were probably intimate after his divorce (or maybe she was the other woman), and Sadie of course is the loopy old mad woman by the lake. The comedy, of course, is in the characters' banter and lines. Soon, a millionaire arrives, because you need one of those too, except this is an obnoxious hunter who fancies himself a "great white hunter" (more of a poacher and all around douchebag), and he is the one who brings in the fancy equipment. So in a way they somewhat duplicate the types from the first film, with some differences. The new addition is the hunter's assistant, an African native the hunter saved. Ahmad may put up with Struthers, but he is the one who has a head on his shoulders, gives warning that of course Struthers does not listen to. To be honest, Ahmad is the one guy you feel bad when the croc gets him. Side note, small continuity error it seems: when the sheriff blows up one of the crocs with a grenade launcher, saving his son, the next scene when he is returning he has a shotgun instead of the launcher. He could not have carried a shotgun because he traded the one he had for the launcher with Struthers previously. And there are some other small goofs if you pay attention. The movie tries somewhat to recapture some of the charm of the first, but it is just not that good. Action is minimal. The characters other than Ahmad, Riley, and Emma (called Emily in the film credits but Emma in the film) are mostly annoying and the kind you can't wait for the croc to eat them. This was a pretty slow, uninspiring sequel, but as we know the series does not end here yet. Still, this was pretty forgettable. I am giving it 1.5 out of 5 stars barely. Via TubiTv. Watched 3/4.
- Lake Placid 3 (Horror. Comedy. Action). Plot description: "The popular franchise continues, as a game warden’s family takes a cabin on the lake, where the lonely son feeds baby crocs he sees as pets." I would not call this a "popular franchise," but since Tubi has the series, I am going forward with watching them. By the way, a common pattern emerges in the series of someone lonely (an eccentric or loony adult, a child here) feeding baby crocs that turns into the monsters. Pro tip: don't feed them. Michael Ironside, who does good work and often helps to improve a film, does the duty as local sheriff Tony Willinger. Colin Ferguson plays the warden, Nathan, whi this time is an EPA agent it seems (they keep changing the agencies). Movie starts with a young couple taking a swim in the lake, and they become the first two victims eaten by what appears to be a group of small/baby crocodiles. It does not get better from there. Then, to keep some vague continuity, we learn Nathan is nephew of Sadie from the previous movie. As we learn from the sheriff when he visits Nathan and his family as they are cleaning the cabin (they are debating on selling it or not), it has been a year since Sadie "passed" (i.e. got eaten by one of the big crocs last time). Then the movie moves two years after the family was cleaning out the cabin (i.e. give time for the crocs to grow). Naturally, as often the case, Nathan and his wife are not exactly stellar parents, which is why the kid is lonesome (and thus feeds crocodiles). Kid is on his way to being the next loony resident of that cabin by the lake at this rate. Yancy Butler plays the local poacher and "hunting guide." As for the croc fodder youths, yea, again, the obnoxious irritating types you can't wait to see get eaten. This movie is even slower, and the characters, aside from the sheriff, are mostly irritating, or idiots, or both. The film also tries to ramp up some sappy family drama with the neglected kid, but it just does not work. Let's be honest: it would have been lovely if one of the crocs ate the little brat. Ironside does what he can, but not even he can save this clunker of a movie (sadly, he does not survive, breaking the sort of tradition of the sheriff being a survivor in previous two films). The movie as mentioned is slow, and the plot seriously drags. The puppy love idiot obsessed with the one girl just makes the movie drag even more. You could root for the crocodiles, but even they do not get that much time in the film to be honest. The movies in the series are getting worse, so this one gets 1 out of 5 stars, and barely. Bad plot, worse acting from most of actors, not even a funny line. The special effects are pretty bad too. The ending is seriously ridiculous by the way. And yes, there is an opening for yet another sequel. This is one to skip. Via TubiTv. Watched 3/5.
- Lake Placid: the Final Chapter (Horror. Comedy. Action). Plot description: "Black Lake is now a crocodile sanctuary, surrounded by an electric fence. When the fence is left open, a high-school bus unknowingly enters the park. It's up to Reba and the Sheriff to save the kids from becoming crocodile food." Yancy Butler returns as Reba the hunter, except she is now the EPA agent (she is the only character to return from one film to the next in the series). This sequel starts where last left off, mainly to show that Reba survived in the end. This time, the sheriff is played by a woman, Elisabeth Rohm (who you may know from Law and Order and a few other TV shows) as Sheriff Giove. And we get yet another researcher who wants to study the big crocs, because apparently some lessons are never learned. Instead of killing them all, like most of the town wants by now (seems that part they have learned rather than forgetting after a while), the powers that be set the sanctuary with the electrical fence (I am hearing poor echoes of Jurassic Park). On the positive, the EPA hiring Reba may have been the one smart thing (they sort of drafted her and kept her out of jail for poaching). Once again, we get another family dysfunction subplot with an Army Corps of Engineers lieutenant and his son who also works for the Corps. No, they do not get along, why would they have a healthy family relationship? That would be boring, though not as cliched and boring as this is. The sheriff also has her family drama with a daughter. Her daughter just wants to read in peace, but mom says she needs to have fun, makes her go in a high school trip (and we all know where this is going). Robert Englund has an appearance here as the latest member of the Bickerman clan (here is your continuity); he is the poacher and hunter we find in these movies leading a small group, including the as it turns out not so innocent researcher. By the way, the reason that bus ends up in the sanctuary is they hired the stupidest, most perverted bus driver they could find who spends more time checking out his softcore porn on his phone than keeping eyes on the road, makes a wrong turn, and you get the idea. He basically brings food delivery to the crocodiles. Thoughtful of him. Just for that this movie has to be the stupidest in the series, not even Robert Englund making an appearance can save this. Once the buffet, oops, the kids are in the lakeshore, we get a bit more action. The crocs are menacing, but the effects remain pretty low level. Now it falls to the sheriff and Reba to save the remaining survivors and escape the enclosure. Overall, the movie is marginally better than the previous two, but that is not saying much. The action gets ramped up a bit in this one, a bit more thrills, but we could have done without the googly eyed love interests and other side annoyances attempting to build interest in characters that no one will really care for anyways. In the acting, Butler and Englund are the highlights. Despite a bit more action, the film still does drag at times. The ending? It attempts a bit at humor but ridiculous and again, leaves an opening for yet another sequel. In the end, it's basically the same formula with some minor modifications. 1.5 out of 5 stars. Via TubiTv. Watched 3/5.
- Machete (2010. Action. Crime. Thriller). Plot description: "After being set-up and betrayed by the man who hired him to assassinate a Texas Senator, an ex-Federale launches a brutal rampage of revenge against his former boss." This is the movie that made a superstar actor out of Danny Trejo. I had seen it before, but I never reviewed it on the blog, so when I saw TubiTv had it, I decided to watch it again so I could review it here (and just for fun). A highlight for me is the good casting of various actors you know from a lot of other places including Robert DeNiro, Cheech Marin, Don Johnson, Michelle Rodriguez, Jessica Alba, and others. The movie combines the grittiness of an exploitation film with action and adventure as well as a good amount of violence and gore. The movie also has some pretty good dark humor here or there. This overall is a fun and an entertaining film. It has a good pace, nice revenge and justice story, and plenty of action to keep things going. It does harken back the grindhouse films of previous years with a bit of a modern update. Just one to enjoy. I really liked it, so 4.5 out of 5 stars. Watched 3/5.
- Final Destination (2000. Horror. Thriller). Plot description: "Alex Browning is among a group of high school students readying themselves for a trip to Europe. When he suddenly has a premonition their airplane will crash, he screams to warn the others but instead he is thrown off of the plane." Like in every other horror movie with young people, well, they range from the nerdy to the obnoxious asshole (Carter in this case) that you can't wait for the killer to get next. After the incident, everyone thinks Alex is either psychic somehow or that he is some closet terrorist and somehow caused it (that latter is what the FBI seems to think). The suspense builds a bit at a time as Death will come for each one of the survivors, and Alex has to try to warn them and try to figure out Death's plan. By the way, Tony Todd, who some may know from Candyman films among others (I saw the first Candyman film back in April 2021), appears in this one. He is the one, the undertaker, who explains Death's design and urges Alex to work it out in hopes of survival. Death does get creative in the subtle ways it gets the victims after the plane explosion. Part of the suspense is seeing how each one will die or not. As you watch, you realize the film gets a bit formulaic, but I can see how at the time the premise of Death itself as the killer was pretty good. The film overall is pretty good, not great, but good enough for an evening at home. On a side note, I get the feel that given there are at least four more films that the series will not hold up (not unlike the Saw films which over time just kept getting worse despite the good premise in the first one). Anyhow, for now, this was pretty good with a blend of suspense and tension that keeps one watching, and I think it still holds up years later. There are some gory moments, but they are pretty good in this film to illustrate Death's power. I am willing to give it 3.5 out 5 stars. Via TubiTv, which had this and the second film. Watched 3/11.
- The Wikipedia entry for the film series-- there are five of them so far with one more on the way-- has a bit more trivia such as the first film is based on a script that was originally for the television series The X-Files but never used. In the first film, Alex also has to dodge the FBI, who thinks he caused the plane's explosion. The other films follow the same basic formula of one person has a premonition, preventing a group's death, then the group members have to try to avoid dying as Death refuses to be cheated. There were also novels based on the films' premise and a short comic book series. I may try to find those down the road out of curiosity. On another side note, this could have been an interesting X-Files episode with Mulder and Scully being the agents investigating. Oh well, what could have been.
- Final Destination 2 (2003. Thriller. Horror). Plot description: "Kimberly has a premonition of an accident killing multiple people including her and her friends. She blocks the cars behind her on the ramp and as a police trooper arrives, the accident happens. Death is stalking this group of survivors." Kimberly is the new person with premonitions that needs to figure out Death's pattern before Death kills those who should have died in that accident. TubiTv had it, so I figured what the heck I will watch one more. Yes, Tony Todd returns as Mr. Bludworth, so does Ali Larter as Clear, the flight survivor from the first film. This movie picks up in time a year after the plane crash in the first film. One good thing in the film continues to be the opening wreckage sequence, in this case the highway accident. That was a very well made scene. Soon we learn, as the state trooper investigates, that Alex from the previous film died in a freak accident, so Clear is the only one left at start of the film from the previous film. In a small amusing detail, well, to me at least, one of the characters is shown in bed reading a Stephen King book. The deaths in this film continue to be subtle, complex, and relatively creative. This time Death has to tie some loose ends, which are revealed as the story goes along. On another semi-amusing detail, a lot of people in these films are seriously lousy drivers. It may be part of the formula, and that is the thing about this film. It keeps the formula of the original with a a bit of a tweak. The story keeps the tension and suspense going until the very end. This one does develop the lore a bit better, and it does have a bit of a faster pace than the first one. I did like it enough for 3.5 out of 5 stars as it works pretty much like the previous film. At least it was not worse as sequels often are. Watched 3/11.
- Frankenstein's Army (2013. Horror. Science Fiction. War. Independent film. Czech film). Plot description: "In the dying days of WWII, a battalion of Russian soldiers is lured into the secret lab of a deranged scientist and forced to face off against an army of horrific flesh-and-metal war machines." This is another entry in the genre of Nazi last minute super weapons movies. This time the Nazis have found the journal of Victor Frankenstein and used it to create super soldiers stitched together from parts of fallen soldiers. The film is made to look like a propaganda film, down to the sounds of an old film camera running, a bit of shakiness, and a bit of grainy quality on the screen. The movie is mostly then from the point of view of the camera man. The shakiness may bother some viewers. The film does start a bit slow as we get images of the Russian squad. They get a mysterious call on the radio from another unit asking for help, and that brings them in to an abandoned church that it appears the Nazis occupied previously. Soon they find out the church is more than what it seems from the outside. First half hour or so starts fairly slow, but soon hell breaks loose as the squad starts discovering the Nazi monsters. In the last act of the film, last half hour or so we get to see the true horror of the scientist's lab. The creations are probably the highlight of the film. The story is pretty basic, and the format does add to the claustrophobic horror feel of the film though it means you miss details. At times it does feel like you are watching one of those survival horror first person video games, but not in a good way. Overall, I'd say this was OK, so I am willing to give it 2.5 out of 5 stars. Via TubiTv.
- Exiled (2006. Action. Crime. Thriller. Hong Kong film). Plot description: "A friendship is formed between an ex-gangster, and two groups of hitmen - those who want to protect him and those who were sent to kill him." Johnnie To, known action director, directs this one. On a curious technical note, the film is subtitled. However, I had the closed captioned turned on, and the captioning text is slightly different than the film's subtitles. The opening act with the shooting followed by the communal meal is well made while it reveals the basics of the drama: a group of childhood friends who are hit men now divided into two factions seeking to kill the one ex-gangster or protect him from being killed. Soon the plot gets a lot more complex as they become involved in another hit, then a gold heist in a quest to get out of the business and Macao, where the story takes place. We get a pretty complex and good drama of honor and loyalty to the end. It can get a bit confusing in a moment or two, but it is worth watching over for the good style and the honor and loyalty story. Pretty good film. 4 out of 5 stars. Via TubiTv. Watched 3/12.
- American Ninja (1985. Action. Adventure. Alternate title: American Warrior). Plot description: "American soldier, obviously very skilled in martial arts, single-handedly takes on mercenaries in the Philippines." Tubi has the first four films of the series; there are five films total, so figured I'd take a chance. I vaguely remember watching this first one back in the 80s, but it has been a while. I remember when this came out there was a bit of a ninja craze (interest in movies and pop culture) at the time. This movie helped fuel that. Michael Dudikoff stars in the title role, and it also has Steve James in it as a corporal in the same outfit. James is one of those action actors that somehow is not more known but is reliable and usually makes a movie better when he is in it. Naturally, the colonel's daughter, who he saves and then gets no gratitude for, is your typical useless whiny bimbo (not to mention too dumb to see her father the colonel is involved too in the crimes). You kind of feel for Private Armstrong (Dudikoff) putting up with her, especially since she is going to be the love interest. so we are getting the she hates him but he grows on her routine. Part of the lack of gratitude is the Army higher ups are corrupt and working with those mercenaries and with some arms dealers. Speaking of the love interest, it is sort of forced to be honest, and it does slow down the pace of the movie quite a bit. Eventually we get to the final showdown as every movie like this has, but it is quite a drag to get to it. The movie does have some decent action sequences, but it also has quite a bit of filler, not to mention a plot hole or two. The movie to be honest is more ninja hype than actual substance, even for a Golan Globus production. How it managed to do well financially is probably due to that hype because there is not much else between the meager action scenes. This movie had potential to be a cheesy but fun actioneer, but it just drags and is seriously slow for most of the film. What little action it has is few and far between, and you just want the movie to end by the time we get to the final showdown. As for the acting, fairly basic. Dudikoff looks good, but that is about it. No charisma whatsoever. I am willing to give it 1.5.stars at best. It can stay back in the 80s. The fact is so bad probably explains why I barely remember it (I did not think it was that great back then either to be honest). Anyhow, based on this one, I may or not watch the others.
- Another reason to watch this series was that Amazon just announced they bought the MGM catalog, which includes many movies from Golan Globus and Cannon Group. Tubi just put those movies they had in the "leaving soon" list, which while movies come and go on Tubi, it is likely due this time due to the deal. A pity if these fun movies from Golan Globus and Cannon Group are lost from free streaming, so enjoying them while I can (at least the good ones).
- A bit more about this film and series from the Wikipedia entry.
- House of 9 (2005. Horror. Mystery. Drama). Plot description: "Nine strangers, with no apparent connection between them are abducted: drugged, kidnapped and sealed in a house together." Another entry in the bring a bunch of folks together who do not appear to be connected only to find out they are connected, and they now need to survive some form of torture. In this case, whoever gets out of the house does get $5 million dollars from the wealthy guy who kidnapped them and brought them together in the house. In actors you may know, Dennis Hopper and Peter Capaldi (who many may know in recent years from his turn as Doctor Who) are in this. Film starts with the kidnappings, which are shown brief and quick in between the opening credits and some very slow music. I do not think it would have made much difference one way or another if they did this or just showed them already kidnapped at the house and start from there. The Watcher, through a speaker, reveals the basic premise that they were chosen to entertain him, and that the one at the end who makes it out alive gets the money. He will be watching and listening through cameras and microphones hidden around the house. He then tells them they will not hear from him again, and the rest is up to them. The house appears to be completely sealed, and unlike other films, this is not a beat up or abandoned home; in fact, it is very sterile and clean. First half hour of the film is seriously slow, but as the characters talk during bedtime, small bits and pieces of their lives and clues are revealed. Still, this part does drag a bit. We are 45 minutes in, and aside from a brief noise that sounds like a car that gets them riled up a bit, still not much of anything happens. By the way the song interlude at about the 45 minutes mark does not help much either. We are halfway through the movie, and nothing much going on. Part of me wonders if the Watcher is getting bored, then at the 50 mark or so it slowly starts to get interesting. The first death happens, an accident. We still have a bit less than 40 minutes left, so one hopes the pace picks up except it slows to a crawl again. Finally at the top of the hour, about 60 minutes in the very slow pot begins to boil over. Then slows down again. Basically the movie has some tense moments within a very slow story. Film is mostly a snooze fest as it sputters along. It's in the last ten minutes where things finally come to the inevitable showdown. The performances for the most part were decent, especially from Capaldi and Girardot, the husband. Hopper was OK as the priest, but him in the role seems a bit wasted. The twist at the end was good, but to be honest I am not sure it was worth the previous drag. It's going for the psychological thriller, but it just does not have enough to keep audience interested. To be honest, this feels more like watching one of those obnoxious reality shows with people stuck in a house being rude and bores. There are much better movies in this genre; this one you can definitely skip. This gets a 1 out of 5 for me barely. Watched 3/19.
- Eve of Destruction (1991. Action. Science Fiction. Thriller). Plot description: "A terrorist hunter is hired by a scientist to deactivate her android double, a walking, talking, murderous nuclear bomb which has gone amok in the big city and is about to explode." I remember watching this back in the 1990s; I think I rented the VHS at the time as I do not recall seeing it in a movie theater. Gregory Hines plays the "terrorist hunter," Colonel Jim McQuade. On a small trivia note, the role was initially for Jim Belushi, but he had to drop out due to conflict with making another film at the time (Taking Care of Business). He worked out pretty well in the film, put in a good performance. Renee Soutendijk plays a double role as the scientist and the android double she created and programmed. It is interesting to watch her performing two relatively different characters. When Eve activates her nuclear device, McQuade and the doctor have 24 hours to find her and neutralize her before she blows up. The film at times feels a bit like a made for TV movie, probably in part due to when it was made. Overall, it's a decent thriller but it is not a big deal. The movie moves along at an average pace as Eve leaves a trail of wounded and dead along the way. The last act is where the climax happens, and it's the most thrilling part of an otherwise pretty average film. The highlights are Hines and Soutendijk, rest of the characters, what few there are, are fairly forgettable. The plot is decent, but there is a moment or two that pushes credulity. I am willing to give it 3 out of 5 stars as I liked it, but as I said, no big deal. Via TubiTv. Watched 3/25.
- Tales from the Hood (1995. Horror. Crime. Drama. Anthology series). Plot description: "A funeral director tells four strange tales of horror with an African American focus to three drug dealers he traps in his place of business." Clarence Williams III portrays Mr. Simms, the funeral director and the "host" figure. Among the cast are Corbin Bernsen (you may remember him from the L.A. Law series) and David Alan Grier (who you may remember from the comedy series In Living Color). I usually like anthology films, so when I saw Tubi had this decided to take a chance. The opening is a bit humorous; the funeral parlor looks great, and Mr. Simms has the creepiness to go with it all. Williams really delivers the creepy performance here, reminiscent of old time horror comics a bit. Overall, the stories are pretty good, very much in the vein of old horror comics and anthologies like Twilight Zone and Tales from the Crypt with an African American focus. However, do not let that focus deter you. If you enjoy horror anthologies, this is well worth it. As these anthologies often do, it does blend in some social issues, but they are part of the story (i.e. the tales do not go out of their way to preach. They do not need to). Do note Spike Lee was executive producer. My favorites were Walter's story and Jerome's story, but they are all pretty good. Is it cheesy at times? Yes, but that is part of the charm and a reason to watch the film. I really liked this so I am willing to give it 4 out of 5 stars. This can be a good selection to watch in Halloween season, or just any time you are in the mood for some spooky tales. Watched 3/26. The tales are:
- "Rogue Cop' Revelation." Clarence is a rookie Black cop who is stuck working with a bunch of white and very racist corrupt cops. After the three corrupt cops kill a Black activist in a traffic stop, Clarence kept silent and eventually quits the police force. A year later, he is still haunted by the man's voice telling him to bring the three cops to him. Clarence does as the voice asks, and soon the three cops get their reckoning from the dead man, or is it something else? In the end, Clarence gets his reckoning as well for failing to help the man in need. A pretty good ending for this one.
- "Boys Do Get Bruised." Walter is a young school boy who just arrives in a new school. He soon finds himself bullied by other kids in the school. However, after the fight, the school nurse discovers he has a bruise close to an eye, and it was not from the playground. He says it was a monster that did it; he says the monster began to appear after his father died. So at night Walter barely sleeps as he hears the monster in the dark. We do not see the monster, but we hear the growls, Walter makes drawings, and he has bruises. So there is just enough suspense for us to wonder if it is real or not. Then when one of the bullies, Tyrone, gets hurt falling down some stairs in school, breaking arms and legs, we may have a twist to the story. David Alan Grier plays the mom's boyfriend (or possibly the boy's father, it is not specified), and he truly delivers an evil man's role in this one as he is revealed to be the monster, but in the end Walter saves himself and his mom. If you are used to seeing Alan Grier as a funny man, this shows he can play darker roles too. This story is a bit more subtle as we get hints initially until the true reckoning for evil comes, and justice is done.
- "KKK Comeuppance." Story starts after Mr. Simms reveals how he found the doll, which as he says serves as a way station for lost souls until they can move on, in a house in the South. The story goes from there. In this story, Corbin Bernsen plays Duke Metger, the Southern white racist running for governor. He does lay the southern accent a bit on the thick side. Metger, a carpetbagger, sets up his campaign hq in a historical plantation that we soon learn from a local Black man may be haunted by old souls. Others think it is a local myth, but the old man is adamant. As Metger tells the story to his campaign manager, who is a light skinned Black man by the way doing it for the pay, we learn the souls of the slaves the Civil War era owner killed were put into dolls by a voodoo woman to preserve the souls, and those restless souls may be in the house somewhere. So when people start dying, and dolls start appearing, we get to see if it is a myth or not.
- "Hard Core Convert." Jerome is a hoodlum who survives a street shoot out and ends up in prison. In the 4th year of his life sentence with no possibility of parole, a woman doctor comes and makes him an offer for freedom. She will do experimental behavioral modification on him, to which he agrees. Soon he is out of the prison and taken to a way out of the way sort of castle on a mountaintop. Inside, it's more like a dungeon, making us wonder if he was better off back in prison. On a note, of the four stories, this may be a bit more graphic as it shows some images of lynchings and other racial violence as part of his "rehabilitation" that he is forced to watch. However, things will get worse for Jerome as his own reckoning comes, and he has to confront his evil deeds. As often in these anthologies, at least one story connects to the frame, and this is the one that connects back to the gang members visiting the funeral parlor who learn they get a lot more than a bunch of drugs they were hoping to find.
- Tales from the Hood 2 (2018. Horror. Crime. Drama. Anthology). Plot description: "Sequel
to the cult classic reunites executive producer Spike Lee and
writers/directors/producers Rusty Cundieff and Darin Scott for this
horror-comedy starring Keith David." It took a while, but they came up with a sequel, and since TubiTv had it, I took a chance on it. Keith David plays Mr. Simms this time, our stories' host. This time Mr. Simms is visiting a man who owns the largest private prison company in the nation (and yes, he is racist as heck and happy to make profits of imprisoning Black people). Anyhow, Mr. Dumass Beach is also into AI and robots, and he is about to unveil his new robotic cop, the Robo Patriot. They are two hours away from the press conference. The robot can learn much like a person, and this includes learning from tales, fables, etc. Simms is brought in then to tell the robot some tales to help it learn. This frame feels a bit more ridiculous and stretched, but as the movie starts I am willing to see where it may go. It is a not too distant future in this setting, but nothing too specific. The idea is Simms tells stories and the stories get stored into the robot's AI memory. The film and tales are tuned into contemporary issues of its time. The frame to be honest is quite the stretch, and they probably could have done without it, but I guess they needed the frame to present the tales. Just this frame is more ridiculous than anything. Keith David, good as he can be, just does not get much to work from here, unlike Clarence Williams III in the previous film who really had a performance. The tales to be honest are not that good and lack a bit of the charm the ones in the first film had. They also seem to lack a bit of that hood edge the first tales had. Overall, the film as a whole is just not as good as the first one. The first three tales are good, but not great, and the frame was just mostly ridiculous, even if we enjoy Mr. Beach getting what he deserves in the end. It just lacked the humor and wit of the first anthology, trying to preach more, and in a very heavy way, rather than just entertain. As for horror, it is mostly missing here. It was just OK, so I am giving it 2 out of 5 stars. Watched 3/26. The tales are:
- "Good Golly." A Black Lives Matters tale, or at least how one particular Black life mattered. Mr. Simms chooses this tale after asking Beach for a topic, and Beach chose BLM. Story starts with two young women friends, one Black, the other White. They are on vacation, and the White one manages to find the out of the way "Museum of Negrosity." Needless to say, the place looks pretty awful and somewhat creepy. It looks more like a museum of racist artifacts, like Mammy dolls and other stereotypical Black art. They girls think is is a joke, until they meet the very serious museum curator. He tries to teach them a good history lesson, but neither girl is too bright for starters. The blonde wants to buy a "golly doll" (a Mammy type doll) for no other reason than her mom collected them, and she had one as a child. The curator does try to warn her that doll is not a comfort. They leave, only to return at night, this time with the blonde's brother, to break in and steal the doll. The three youths are pretty much your horror movie dumb kids fare. Soon things turn out for the worse as the youths are the clumsiest and stupidest burglars ever. However, as the curator had warned, that Golly doll is not a toy for comfort. Far from it. This tale was a bit ridiculous, amusing, but in the end those do not heed the warnings get what is coming to them.
- "The Medium." Story starts with three hoods beating up on a guy. The guy, turns out, used to be a pimp, but he claims he has given it up. The money the hoods want from him he says is for a charitable foundation as he has had a revelation. Naturally, the hoods do not believe this. When he refuses to talk, they decide to go take his girlfriend hostage to see if they can persuade him to give up the money. Or so is the plan except the beating gets out of hand, and they end up killing the guy without getting the information. After that scene, we see two ladies in the audience waiting for a psychic's show to start. And yes, the psychic is your typical fraud listening in on conversations before the show to use later in the performance. As if that was not bad enough, the psychic treats his employees, the people taking notes and feeding him information, awfully. The connection? One of the hoods watching TV catches the show, and calls his boss to tell him the psychic can solve their problem, or can he? The hoods go to the house and force him to do a seance to contact the dead pimp, only to get more than they bargain for. The psychic may or not be fake, but the spirits are not. Bryan Batt, as John Lloyd the psychic, does a fun turn when he does get possessed for real during the seance, but fun soon turns to the horror twist. The hoods die in some gruesome and a bit creative ways, and well, in the end, the good guy gets the girl. This one was entertaining with a touch of humor.
- "Date Night." The technology and romance tale. This is the story of two guys who meet attractive women online and tell them they are in the movie business and can get them parts in order to sleep with them. Soon they find with their latest rendezvous that they are way over their heads. They manage to drug the girls, which is part of their scheme, but again, this time, they will get their reckoning when the girls turn out to be more than they seem; they are vampires it turns out, but the nightmare gets worse for the two players. This tale may be the one closest to having the vibe of the first anthology, although that Cards Against Humanity scene was ridiculously long and did very little to move the plot.
- "The Sacrifice." The story starts with Emmett Till's lynching in 1955 (a historic fact), then jumps ahead to the future. In that future, Emmett's spirit torments an interracial couple as the woman, Emily is pregnant-- she had a miscarriage previously-- and Henry. the Black man is running for office while supporting a Republican and very racist candidate for governor who is trying to close down polling locations in mostly Black areas. What we soon get is a sort of time travel/alternate history mess where Emmett needs Henry to change, but when Henry initially refuses, back in time Emmett makes different choices, and without his death the Civil Rights Movement never happens (at least as we now know it). So a sacrifice needs to be made to right the timeline, and that sacrifice is Henry. Mr Beach, as we return to the frame disliked the story. I dislike it mostly because it is a mess of a plot, and to be honest neither that good nor that horrifying. It's more one of those time paradox stories, not that great. This may be the weakest story of the set, and it feels like it does not really belong in this anthology. It lacks humor as other tales too. The anthology would have been OK without this one.
- The end of the frame story, Robo Patriot is unveiled and asked about how it identifies criminals. It identifies Beach, who has been shown to be not only greedy and a racist but also a serious misogynist and sexual harasser of women. Soon the truth surfaces, we see Mr. Simms for who he really is, as the devil taking Beach to hell, and his two aides too for failing to do anything about Beach. This is about the only detail common to the previous movie, no one due justice escapes.
- On a trivia note, turns out there is a third sequel, Tales from the Hood 3, that came out in 2020 and features Tony Todd (who you may know from the Candyman films). TubiTv does not have it at this time, but if I find it elsewhere I may watch it too but keep expectations low.
Television and other series (basic show information links via Wikipedia unless noted otherwise). Some of these come in DVD from the public library. Others may be via YouTube, which, as noted before, I keep finding all sorts of other old shows in it, often full episodes:
- C.O.P.S. (1988-1989. Animated series. Police. Action. Humor. Children and Young Adult). See my comment on this in the May 2019 roundup. I've been watching this in and out. I start this month on episode 41 (out of 65) as I continue catching up on watching the series this month.
- Iron Chef (1993-1999. Japanese show). I continue watching this full run via TubiTv.
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